Tag Archives: English bulldog

My Top Five Favorite Summer 2015 Events

26 Sep
Ma! MA! Can you turn the AC up, please? It’s “gettin’ hot in hrrrre”…BOL!

Ma! MA! Can you turn the AC up, please? It’s “gettin’ hot in hrrrre”…BOL!

This post originally appeared as a Tupper’s Tidbits column in the September 23, 2015, issue of The Archway, Bryant’s student newspaper.

I’m not going to lie – summer is, like, the WORST time of year for me. I know, I know: You humans LOVE summer. Hot weather, beer, pools, vacations – all the staples of well-enjoyed human summer.

But put yourselves in my paws for a few minutes. Hot weather can kill me in 5-10 minutes because of my smushed-in face. We dogs cool off by panting, but if we have no snouts, we have less ability to cool off. We sweat through the pads of our feet…which are on pavement…which boasts temperatures upwards of 125°F in the summer. Beer? Ma won’t share. Something about it being toxic for dogs. That’s what she SAYS, anyway.

THIS is how I feel about pools.

THIS is how I feel about pools.

Pools? Fuhgeddaboudit! Bulldogs sink like stones. We can’t swim. Too much – ahem – MUSCLE densely packed. Most of us. Some bulldogs can. I don’t like water at all though. Won’t even go in the kiddie pool Ma got for me. Vacation? Try again. Ma says she can afford bulldogs or she can afford vacations, but she can’t afford both. So we stay home. That’s even worse for me!

Anyway, even though summer isn’t my favorite season, I enjoyed a few things this year. I present to you “Tupper’s Top Five Favorite Summer 2015 Events”:

  1. DAD HAD SURGERY. Now I know what you’re thinking: Tup, that’s terrible! But hear me out…he needed those new knees…and I got to spend a few weeks with the Momma because she was lonely. AND THEN SHE TOOK ME TO WORK EVERY DAY! So much fun.
  1. BOXES. A lot of stuff gets delivered to Academic Records in the summer and that means I get to shred the boxes they came in…I HAVE CONQUERED CARDBOARD!
  1. CAMPUS CONSTRUCTION. Yeah, sure, we had to take a lot of detours to get to the office, but more construction equals more construction workers equals more people to pet me because I’m so awesome.
  1. HOME MAINTENANCE. Ma had a few things done around the house. Of course, they all fell in love with me. And asked for me so they could pet me. Ma’s favorite was when the pellet stove cleaner came and ran his industrial vacuum for two straight hours…and I angrily barked at it for the full two hours. Fun!

And my number one favorite event this summer was:

  1. PHYSICIAN ASSISTANT PROGRAM STUDENTS. Folks, this master’s degree program is challenging. They needed me all summer for pet therapy. Which I gladly provided. I’ve never felt so loved over the summer! So glad Bryant started this PA program!

 

So there you have it. Tupper’s Top Five Favorite Summer 2015 Events. Don’t forget – I’m on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Vine. Get at me! I’ll see you soon. ’Til next time…WOOF!

Tupper’s Top Five Favorite Things About Basketball v. 2015

16 Mar
Hanging out on my throne in the stands at the half, waiting for some scratchies.

Hanging out on my throne in the stands at the half, waiting for some scratchies.

This article originally appeared in the March 5 issue of The Archway, Bryant’s student newspaper.

To say that I love basketball is an understatement. Well, if I’m being completely honest, I love all sports in which a ball is being thrown around and might come tantalizingly close to my jaws.

You may have noticed that I often walk around with some sort of ball in my mouth. If you mentioned that fact to my mom, she might have told you that I refuse to move WITHOUT my ball. Hey, everybody’s got their “thing,” right? Someone who’s insecure about their intellect might always talk about grades…someone who’s insecure about looks might post, like, a THOUSAND selfies a day.

Me? I KNOW I’m smart and beautiful. And charming. And humble…BOL! Some people speculate that I like to suckle on a ball because I was taken from my bulldog ma too soon, but that’s definitely not the case – I lived with my bulldog mom till I was 16 weeks old. That’s twice as long as most puppies! Most of my bulldog friends (I got tons on Twitter, IG, and FB!) like to suckle on blankets or stuffed animals, too.

Anyway, Bryant Basketball isn’t ALL about the ball. I present to you “Tupper’s Top Five Favorite Things About Bryant Basketball”:

  1. BASKETBALL. I know I said it isn’t ALL about the ball. But it’s a little bit about it! I love to watch the players run up and down the court bouncing it. It’s mesmerizing. Still waiting for someone to bounce it my way.
  1. DRIBBLING. Glad to know I’m not the only one who does this. Dribbling, I mean. Oh…Ma says it’s a different kind of dribbling. Wait…so I’m still the only one drooling at the games? Ma says other people might be drooling figuratively for different reasons, but I’m the only one who does so literally. That’s cool. I’ve always been a rebel.
  1. POPCORN. Sometimes, I’ll drop the ball when someone lets their kid carry his or her own popcorn ‘cuz that stuff goes EVERYWHERE when little kids try to walk and hold onto it at the same time!
  1. MY THRONE. Do you see my throne in the picture? My Uncle DP made that for me. And he brings it to every game I go to so that I have someplace to sit because the benches are too narrow. Hey, my legs are too short to anchor me. It’s a ruff life being the mascot sometimes…BOL! My Uncle DP and Auntie Kristin are awesome. They are not only MY fans – they’re fans of all Bryant athletics and huge supporters.

And my number one favorite thing about Bryant Basketball is:

  1. PEOPLE. Tons of people and most want one thing: To scratch my bum. I approve.

So there you have it. Tupper’s Top Five Favorite Things About Bryant Basketball. Don’t forget – I’m on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Vine. Get at me! I’ll see you soon. ’Til next time…WOOF!

Tupper’s Top Five Winter Activities – 2015

26 Feb
Tupper snow angels...it's how I roll...get it? BOL!

Tupper snow angels…it’s how I roll…get it? BOL!

This article originally appeared in the February 26 issue of The Archway, Bryant’s student newspaper.

Here’s the thing…I love winter…usually: I can stay outside and play, and mom doesn’t worry about my allergies or heatstroke or anything. But this winter has been kind of brutal. I like the snow, but I don’t like when it’s actually snowing. What can I say? I’m a complicated dog with complex feelings and emotions…BOL! This winter, it seems like it’s ALWAYS snowing. But take heart, humans. When this article gets published, it will be 22 days until spring. Twenty-two days! In the meantime, here are some suggestions to pass the time in the winter. I present to you “Tupper’s Top Five Winter Activities.”

  1. SNOW ANGELS! Make sure you wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, too. If you want the full Tuppy experience, you gotta be naked. It’s so soothing…trust me. Full disclaimer: Ma says DON’T trust me and rolling around in the snow naked is not recommended.
  1. ARTISTIC EXPRESSION! That’s what I call it when I lift my leg on every single inch of the walls of snow that line our bathroom paths. I mean, I’m limited by my height and the media (white “canvas,” yellow “paint”), but it’s still pretty fun! I’ve left my mark on every bit of the pathway Ma shoveled for me and the Frenchies.
  1. REJUVENATING FACIAL TREATMENTS! Just throw your face right in the nearest snowbank and motorboat that snow…ahhh…feels SO good! And it’s FREE. You won’t usually pay less than $50 for a good spa treatment like that.
  1. SHOVELING! I am a BIG help. Basically, this winter, with snow every other day, I’m completely INVALUABLE. If you want to see me in action, check out my six-second Vine video. HUGE help.

And my number one favorite winter activity is:

  1. EATING BACON! What’s the best thing to do when it’s cold and snowy out? Eat something warm, delicious, and satisfying, of course. Gives you sustenance for all of the aforementioned activities, too. What’s that, Ma? She says that eating bacon is technically not a winter activity. Technicality, I say. It’s an activity, and you can do it in the winter!

So there you have it. Tupper’s Top Five Winter Activities. Don’t forget – I’m on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Vine. Get at me! I’ll see you soon. ’Til next time…WOOF!

BaconQuest

24 Dec

If you follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Vine, you already know I am ALWAYS on the hunt for bacon. I call it my personal BaconQuest.

Sometimes, such as the day before a major holiday, the bacon seeks ME out!

Here’s how it breaks down:

1) Ma wakes me up from my restful slumber

Oh, hey...here to rub my belly, Ma?

Oh, hey…here to rub my belly, Ma?

2) I sense a pork-product disturbance in the atmosphere

Pork-product Disturbance

Holy mother of Porky! What do I smell?

3) My sniffer’s working overtime

Just a tiny edge of this treat is visible!

Just a tiny edge of this treat is visible!

4) I’m actually moving…into “treat-receiving” position

Licking chops

OMNOMNOM! GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!

5) Being told I have to wait…WAIT?? Do you know who I am??

What? Stay still? IMPOSSIBLE!

What? Stay still? IMPOSSIBLE!

6) Making a grab for it

Faster than a speeding bullet when bacon is involved!

Faster than a speeding bullet when bacon is involved!

7) SUCCESS! BaconQuest fulfilled for today. I shall start my quest shortly for tomorrow…

YES! The most flavorful treat around!

YES! The most flavorful treat around!

Study break!

18 Dec

Okay, the semester is ALMOST over…Or maybe it’ll be over by the time you read this.

Take a little study or work break and check out my #TBT video. This is me, my brother, and two sisters on the occasion of my moms coming to check us all out to see if one of us had the stuff to be the Bryant University mascot.

My first human dad, Lou, trained us all to come to the song “Reveille.”

I was first.

I’m the smartest.

I’m also now the Bryant University mascot, and the most beloved English bulldog in New England.

Luckiest one, too.

Enjoy!

Hey, Ma! You got a package from Amazon!

17 Nov

Listen, Ma, I know you’re super-busy at work doing your associate registrar thing, so let me help you open this package.

One second...

One second…

Let me just…I got it…I’m just going to hold it down with my right paw here, and…

Uh, ex-CYOOOZ me...

Uh, ex-CYOOOZ me…

You can just back up there, pupperazzi. I said I don’t need your help!

Hey, Ma (Woof!)

Hey, Ma (Woof!)

Ma, can you get this human with the camera outta my face? You know how I feel about cameras. And, geez…this carpet in Academic Records Office is totally disgusting!

Fine...

Fine…

I’ll turn around then…it’s none of your beeswax what’s in the box, anyway!

When I visit

6 Nov

Here’s the deal: Wherever I go, I expect the same treatment as the most highly regarded humans. Like a king or queen for instance. If there’s a chair, I must sit in it so that everyone in the room can get a better look at me and adore me.

Tup-Chair

A seat befitting my status

But then…THIS happens.

Nice job, Auntie Kristin!

Nice job, Auntie Kristin!

Mom puts me on the floor, and they use the lint brush. Personally, I think it’s to collect my hair to sell it on the black market…I’m so famous, everyone wants a piece of me! BOL! Still got my ball, though…

Social Media maven

25 Jun

It may be summer, but I’m not resting! While I wait for students to come back, I’m getting acquainted with new social media apps so that I can stay in touch with my humans! Check me out on Vine, user name “Bryant_Tuppy” and you’ll see me in motion.

You may also enjoy this one:

I know I did…

Last one. This is me drinking straight out of the bottle. Smushfaced dogs learn this early, since we’re prone to heat stroke.

Tupper’s Top Five Life-Changing Summer Events

21 Sep

It’s a cruel (cruel), cruel summer…you’re leaving me here on my own…

This post originally appeared in the September 21, 2012 issue of The Archway.

If you’re a returning student, welcome back to Bryant! If this is your first year, I can’t wait to get to know you.

I’m your OFFICIAL mascot. Don’t be fooled by imitations. I’m the only real English bulldog mascot on campus who has a regular column in The Archway, a Facebook page, a Twitter account, and a blog. Pretty sure I’m the only one, anyway…

A few momentous events happened to me this summer, and I want to tell you about them.

5. I got to have 9 sleepovers with the Machtleys. My Momma Claire went to London and Paris without me! I didn’t mind, though, cuz I got to have a whole bunch of sleepovers with Uncle Ron and Auntie Kati Machtley, who treat me like a king. Pssst…don’t tell Momma Claire…I like it when she feels guilty!

4. Speaking of my stay at the Machtleys’ house… So while I was having my sleepovers, I got into a little trouble…Auntie Kati stepped out for a bit, and I let myself out of my crate and went exploring. I got locked in the closet and had to bodyslam the door to let Auntie Kati know where I was (she was panicking when she couldn’t find me – you can read all about it on my blog post from this summer). Pssst…don’t tell Momma Tina I can let myself out of my crate!

3. I got lonely. When you guys leave campus, you go home to your dogs and cats and friends and I’m all by myself….sigh…it’s very lonely sometimes. I miss the love and adoration…and scratchies!

Yes, yes! All hands on Tuppy all the time! Now, fetch my ball, human, and we’ll call this a perfect day!

2. I got two new leashes. What? They can’t all be pearls of wit and wisdom…I’m a dog! Getting new leashes is very exciting to me. Special thanks to Patrick in the Bryant Bookstore for donating a Bryant leash to me. You can get one for your own canine in the Bookstore, too!

And the number one life-changing event that happened this summer is:

1. I tore my ACL. Yes, just like many elite athletes before me (Tom Brady, Tiger Woods, RG3), I have a partial tear in my cruciate ligament…so while I’m recovering, I get more time in my Bulldog Buggy! The dogtor says the prescription is bed rest and physical therapy…I’m not too sure I like being prescribed anything with the word “physical” in it.

So there you have it. Tupper’s Top Five Life-Changing Summer Events. Don’t forget – I’m on Facebook and Twitter. Get at me! I’ll see you at Homecoming. ’Til next time…WOOF!

Where in the world is Tupper? (Part 3)

12 Jul

In our last post, we left Mini-Tupper on the plane, headed to London, England…

*STRETCH* Oh boy! The parents and Mini-Tupper finally touched down at Heathrow Airport. There’s just not enough room on the plane, Mini-Tupper confided to me. Especially because Daddy Del kept taking HIS arm rest!

And, of course, their luggage wasn’t on the carousel. “Too tired,” grumbled MT (Mini-Tup), “let’s just head to the hotel.” So they boarded a shuttle to Le Méridien Piccadilly, right in the heart of London’s West End.

“Wot??? Our hotel is in the middle of Piccadilly CIRCUS??” said MT. “How are we going to sleep with the elephants and lions and loud music?” Silly Mini-Tup! Piccadilly Circus is like Times Square in NYC. It’s THE place to be with lots of interesting things to see and places to visit. “Wanna check it out?” asked the parents.

Ahhh! This is the life! Is there room in the suitcase to take this home?

“Later,” he said around a yawn. “I need a relaxing bath and a nap…is there a spa in this place?”

They had to call the concierge…there were only two robes in the room initially. It was worth the wait, though, according to MT, because it was “like being surrounded by a fluffy cloud.”

Hey, I just met you…and this is crazy. But here’s my number…call me, maybe?

After his nap, MT wanted to check a few things out in Piccadilly Circus. As soon as he saw the phone booths, he realized he wanted to check in with Momma T and let her know all was well.

To Be Continued…