My Top Five Favorite Summer 2015 Events

Ma! MA! Can you turn the AC up, please? It’s “gettin’ hot in hrrrre”…BOL!

This post originally appeared as a Tupper’s Tidbits column in the September 23, 2015, issue of The Archway, Bryant’s student newspaper.

I’m not going to lie – summer is, like, the WORST time of year for me. I know, I know: You humans LOVE summer. Hot weather, beer, pools, vacations – all the staples of well-enjoyed human summer.

But put yourselves in my paws for a few minutes. Hot weather can kill me in 5-10 minutes because of my smushed-in face. We dogs cool off by panting, but if we have no snouts, we have less ability to cool off. We sweat through the pads of our feet…which are on pavement…which boasts temperatures upwards of 125°F in the summer. Beer? Ma won’t share. Something about it being toxic for dogs. That’s what she SAYS, anyway.

THIS is how I feel about pools.

Pools? Fuhgeddaboudit! Bulldogs sink like stones. We can’t swim. Too much – ahem – MUSCLE densely packed. Most of us. Some bulldogs can. I don’t like water at all though. Won’t even go in the kiddie pool Ma got for me. Vacation? Try again. Ma says she can afford bulldogs or she can afford vacations, but she can’t afford both. So we stay home. That’s even worse for me!

Anyway, even though summer isn’t my favorite season, I enjoyed a few things this year. I present to you “Tupper’s Top Five Favorite Summer 2015 Events”:

5. DAD HAD SURGERY. Now I know what you’re thinking: Tup, that’s terrible! But hear me out…he needed those new knees…and I got to spend a few weeks with the Momma because she was lonely. AND THEN SHE TOOK ME TO WORK EVERY DAY! So much fun.

4. BOXES. A lot of stuff gets delivered to Academic Records in the summer and that means I get to shred the boxes they came in…I HAVE CONQUERED CARDBOARD!

3. CAMPUS CONSTRUCTION. Yeah, sure, we had to take a lot of detours to get to the office, but more construction equals more construction workers equals more people to pet me because I’m so awesome.

2. HOME MAINTENANCE. Ma had a few things done around the house. Of course, they all fell in love with me. And asked for me so they could pet me. Ma’s favorite was when the pellet stove cleaner came and ran his industrial vacuum for two straight hours…and I angrily barked at it for the full two hours. Fun!

And my number one favorite event this summer was:

1. PHYSICIAN ASSISTANT PROGRAM STUDENTS. Folks, this master’s degree program is challenging. They needed me all summer for pet therapy. Which I gladly provided. I’ve never felt so loved over the summer! So glad Bryant started this PA program!

 

So there you have it. Tupper’s Top Five Favorite Summer 2015 Events. Don’t forget – I’m on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Vine. Get at me! I’ll see you soon. ’Til next time…WOOF!