Three Stages of Leaving Campus

24 Jun

It should come as no surprise to any of you – I LOVE BEING BRYANT’S MASCOT!

What’s not to love? Adoration. Scratches. Treats. Scratches. Bacon. Scratches. Hot dogs…

When you’re “Big Dog On Campus,” it’s really challenging to go home, where your family may not keep you up on that pedestal that your students, faculty, and staff have had you on all day. In fact, I’m treated like ALL THE OTHER DOGS in the house! Can you believe that? Me? Mascot royalty!

Understandably, I’m often reluctant to leave campus. Okay, not just “often.” I’m ALWAYS reluctant to leave campus. Here are my three stages at the end of the work day:

1) No. No, I will not go there, no, I will not obey.

This is a total shock to me. How could you ask me to leave?

This is a total shock to me. How could you ask me to leave?

2) HA HA! I’m under the desk…you can’t make me move.

You're an old human and incapable of moving my strong bulldog body.

You’re an old human and incapable of moving my strong bulldog body.

3) Oh, SHOOT! I forget how strong you are, Momma T. And smart, to put me in this rolling chair and save yourself the aggravation of getting me to move three steps at a time.

They see me rollin', they hatin'.... Nice to see you finally recognize my royal stature.

They see me rollin’, they hatin’…. Nice to see you finally recognize my royal stature. Walking is for plebes.

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