Tupper’s Top Five Life-Changing Summer Events

21 Sep

It’s a cruel (cruel), cruel summer…you’re leaving me here on my own…

This post originally appeared in the September 21, 2012 issue of The Archway.

If you’re a returning student, welcome back to Bryant! If this is your first year, I can’t wait to get to know you.

I’m your OFFICIAL mascot. Don’t be fooled by imitations. I’m the only real English bulldog mascot on campus who has a regular column in The Archway, a Facebook page, a Twitter account, and a blog. Pretty sure I’m the only one, anyway…

A few momentous events happened to me this summer, and I want to tell you about them.

5. I got to have 9 sleepovers with the Machtleys. My Momma Claire went to London and Paris without me! I didn’t mind, though, cuz I got to have a whole bunch of sleepovers with Uncle Ron and Auntie Kati Machtley, who treat me like a king. Pssst…don’t tell Momma Claire…I like it when she feels guilty!

4. Speaking of my stay at the Machtleys’ house… So while I was having my sleepovers, I got into a little trouble…Auntie Kati stepped out for a bit, and I let myself out of my crate and went exploring. I got locked in the closet and had to bodyslam the door to let Auntie Kati know where I was (she was panicking when she couldn’t find me – you can read all about it on my blog post from this summer). Pssst…don’t tell Momma Tina I can let myself out of my crate!

3. I got lonely. When you guys leave campus, you go home to your dogs and cats and friends and I’m all by myself….sigh…it’s very lonely sometimes. I miss the love and adoration…and scratchies!

Yes, yes! All hands on Tuppy all the time! Now, fetch my ball, human, and we’ll call this a perfect day!

2. I got two new leashes. What? They can’t all be pearls of wit and wisdom…I’m a dog! Getting new leashes is very exciting to me. Special thanks to Patrick in the Bryant Bookstore for donating a Bryant leash to me. You can get one for your own canine in the Bookstore, too!

And the number one life-changing event that happened this summer is:

1. I tore my ACL. Yes, just like many elite athletes before me (Tom Brady, Tiger Woods, RG3), I have a partial tear in my cruciate ligament…so while I’m recovering, I get more time in my Bulldog Buggy! The dogtor says the prescription is bed rest and physical therapy…I’m not too sure I like being prescribed anything with the word “physical” in it.

So there you have it. Tupper’s Top Five Life-Changing Summer Events. Don’t forget – I’m on Facebook and Twitter. Get at me! I’ll see you at Homecoming. ’Til next time…WOOF!

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